We Don’t Break

Cont’d from Not Objects But Enablers, We Are

Reality check: we don’t break by becoming more awake and more aware.

We don’t break by making peace with our imperfect human self.

We don’t break by actively accepting that everything that is happening to us and around us is really happening for us.

We don’t break by becoming genuine – by becoming authentic – by becoming true to our selves.

We don’t break by raising a calm and firm warrior’s fist.

We don’t break while shaping on the ground a life of passion and purpose.

Instead, we find purpose.

Instead, help empower others.

I trust this works for you as much as it does for me, so let’s keep going.

So, safely, dear Reader, we power up our efforts to develop faith in the purpose of our journey inside the body that responds to our name.

Agreed, dear Reader?

Mahatma Gandhi is quoted saying something that, many decades later, science has backed up: “A man is a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”

No doubt Gandhi assumed the same applied to women 😊

Imagine if decades, if not centuries ago, girls, too, had been taught to ‘just be’?

To just be strong to protect.

To just be nurturing to protect.

To just be thoughtful and caring.

And to just carry these essential attributes throughout their days!

Imagine if boys, too, had been taught to ‘just be’!

Imagine how different the thoughts of humanity would have been.

Imagine what, together and separately, humanity might have become!

Bottom line: imagine for a moment the global repercussions of what could have been a truly evolutionary shift!

We take time to do that because, by now, we know that ‘not’ doing that breaks too many of us.

Good news: it’s never too late.

No need to beat our selves up for past mistakes, as that would be highly counter-productive.

The best type of empowerment is the one we generate by ourselves, for ourselves, throughout the seemingly long strand of moments underfoot, knowing that, downstream, others will eventually benefit from our courage.

We can do that now.

We can do that every day.

We can do that throughout each of our interactions with our selves and with others.

And we can do that in each moment that is between our deep inhales, and slow exhales.

No small thing, but entirely doable 😊

We can do that by surrendering to What-Is in front of our eyes when we look at the mirror. We’re not talking about surrendering in a helpless, ‘I give up’ sort of way because we know that definitely breaks us.

Equally, we sense that doing that mindfully will not break us.

We know it will act as our ‘super glue’.

Most of us carry an armour that’s been forged by several childhood insecurities and guilt. It’s also been forged by an addiction to various forms of distancing our elves from pain and compensation coping mechanisms.

So will surrendering with courage by actively accepting What-Is even if with a mind to shift it for the better through a series of calm and measured steps.

That will make us stronger.

Heads up #1: reactive resistance usually causes us to get ‘stuck’ in so many different ways.

It tends to stop us from ever getting started even on what, deep down, we know we should do.

Then again – surrendering coherently is a form of resistance, too.

Here’s a thought from Likkutei Sichot, a collection of core teachings from Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, adapted by Tzvi Freeman.

[ … ] ‘We dance with our feet, and all our feet are here on the same earth—none higher and none lower. So now we can all dance as one, with one heart, as a single being.

Now there is no loneliness, only joy.’

So, yes, brave warriors we become once we no longer choose to camouflage ourselves whenever we feel insecure about our worth in the gaze of others, which for many of us is a life-long preoccupation.

Brave warriors we become each time we find the courage to lean into our vulnerability. Each time we accept and lean into the discomfort of surrendering to uncertainty.

Uncertainty in regards to others’ perceptions, actions, reactions and inactions.

Uncertainty in regards to ‘what next’ might the universe have in store for us.

Regardless of our uncertainty about the energy of synchronicity, we choose to step forward with our brave heart.

Heads up: we are brave when we decide to not present as something we are not – not on the outside and perhaps not even on the inside either.

We are brave when we accept our perceived strengths and weaknesses as … shrug-neutral.

Reality check: we all have a vast universe-driven potential within ourselves.

We can learn to tap into it.

We can learn to find our point of centred groundedness.

A centred groundedness from which we can do our bit to influence … influencers and decision-makers.

And our loved ones, too, of course.

Though it might sound counter-intuitive, we have a much better chance of co-creating with the universe the connections and the ‘life’ we desire when we engage from an emotionally strong and committed place of mind.

Heads up: as we move through the remaining plot beats of our life, our resilient older selves – the ones that have made it possible to be who we are today – will thank us for the choice we made this day.

Indeed, our minds and bodies have had it by now.

By now, they don’t want anything else to break them.

They’ve been through too much already.

Here is a truism: as long as we don’t change our thoughts, the outcome of our reactions won’t change either.

Neither will our culture.

Neither will the sexualisation of girls and women of all ages.

Serious question: when will we, together and separately, care enough to prioritise rolling back the cultural expectation that the human body, particularly that of girls and women, exists to be made up and decorated by all manner of artifices created to engage with or stimulate the male gaze?

If not now, then, when will we be calm, awake and aware, courageous enough to take tiny steps in that direction?

Reality check: we can energise these or any other intentions by practising wholeheartedly and at all times.

Each moment is an opportunity to observe neutrally and to begin redressing what is dysfunctional and what fails to serve us – and our children, too.

We can energise our thoughts by not mitigating reality, as we see it through our 3-D goggles.

So, we bring all parts of ourselves to the table.

Messy parts and all are welcome.

We bring them together again.

Like wounds survived, they make us stronger.

Bottom line: each moment is an opportunity to align our mind and our heart.

Every moment is an opportunity to go a little deeper into whatever we see as ‘the real thing’ in the moment underfoot.

Those feelings and thoughts we have glossed over might lead us to the wisest and most transformative moments of all.

All in the name of equity.

All in the name of consolidated emotional and personal wellbeing, too.

Serious question #1: what is new or ‘modern’ in the world of modern fashion?

Serious answer: the only real difference, these days, comes down to how girls and women are enticed to expose their ‘bootie’, the only body part that, from one era to the next, had remained taboo – except in sex parlours and, perhaps, too, within the privacy of one’s bedroom.

Today, of course, ‘serving the curve’ and ‘popping the bootie’ are legal activities. They are considered fun and sexy.

Many girls and women agree with industry-driven influencers who say it’s all about freedom of expression and empowerment.

Reality check: as it is, a couple of centuries ago, shoulders, legs, and ankles were considered more risqué than an exposed cleavage. Daringly cut-out dresses designed – and bought – to titillate onlookers by revealing large areas of our chests or backs are not revolutionary.

Serious question #2: so, for us people of all ages and genders, what’s new in our expectations of the fashion we adopt?

Answer: not much.

‘Step away from the mean girls and say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks,’ says Oprah Winfrey. ‘Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others.’

Serious question #3: are we not, often, the ‘meanest girl’ – or guy – known to whisper in our ears recurring comments of our unworthiness?

Don’t we, too often, break ourselves in little pieces?

True or False: the only new ‘thing’ that would really matter can only be ignited from a willingness to change ratified by a critical mass – a mass that counts us in.

Heads up: time’s up.

Now, we allow our selves to be curious as to where the new choices we are about to make might/will take us.

We are curious as to how gendered life might be re-imagined for those who, one day, will become part of the next generation to be born.

We show our loved ones what it means to walk away from the priorities we had as children – as a teenager, too.

We do that because slowly but surely, now, together and separately, we are coming of age.

We feel stronger than ever.