Squarely in the Saddle, We Sit

Conclusion of Who Gave Us ‘That’ Life?!?


July 2021


Eventually, once our neutral introspection is underway, slowly, with more of the true grit and heart-based determination that has reaped for us the positive aspects of our lives, we move towards our end game.

A purpose-full life.

A life well worth living.

Instead of trying to stop making ourselves anxious about the possibility of, one day, messing up or losing some of those positive aspects we currently enjoy in our day-to-day, we breathe consciously.

As neutral observers, we meditate on our self-worth.

We are grateful for our strengths.

We are curious about the process of dealing with what might be genuine weaknesses.

We remain neutrally conscious of what we have observed are the weaker aspects of our otherwise most engaging persona-lity.

We focus on a handful of affirmations that, we know, are deep down true to us.

We are loving – we are loved – we feel loved.

We are trusting in the universe.

We trust the concept of Gam zu letova, as taught by Yudit CS, my Israeli-Jewish mentor of 10 years.

Roughly it goes along those lines: should we accept good moments and complications alike; should we deal with each one with clarity, then, all that springs up in the moment underfoot will eventually prove to have been for the better.

Reality check: the moment our feelings/emotions get triggered by words, by non-verbals by a tone of voice, in a nanosecond, we separate from our selves.

Unpredictably, a conflict is occurring.

It escalates.

We hurt ourselves, physically and emotionally, just as we hurt the other.

Divided we fall.

Good news: once we hit the PAUSE button long enough to breathe in and out consciously, we actively reverse the ancient conditioning of our our brain.

Once the alarm is disarmed, the energy of fear, anger or resentment dissipates.

Then, our authentic personality is able to get back in the saddle – and resume the heart-based coherence that supports our best intentions.

Now we are awake and aware.

Separately and collectively, we exercise our free will.

We exercise free choice in all ways, starting with how we present ‘to the world’ this person that bears our name.

Responses chosen freely in answer to what’s underfoot begin with the wish followed by the determination to take the reins of our life away from our brain-reactive ego-persona.

So, dear Reader, motivated by the clarity of hindsight, the time is upon us to ask our selves, ‘What WAS in it for me for not letting go any earlier?’

Maybe it subconsciously suited us to play the victim.

Maybe it suited us to postpone taking actions that seemed emotionally too taxing.

Maybe …

Heads up: our personal evolution begins once we decide to make space in our thoughts for groundedness and the fresh seeds of potentiality within it. Seeds germinate, but not overnight.

Knee jerks do not usually provide us with the smooth ride we desire.

But when observed neutrally, the choices we make become a form of advocacy for ourselves and for others, too.

Our behavioural shifts will probably bring more people into the conversation.

And that will be something else to observe neutrally as others act and react – or simply respond – to our altered approach to what they might still perceive as life’s ‘difficult’ moments.

Heads up: we don’t get pulled away by other people’s dramas, conflicts and divisive default emotions.

We release all depleting attachments to the past.

We curtail the plans we might otherwise make for that elusive ‘future’.

We do that because we know that ‘the future’ begins with our response to the moment underfoot.

It is shaped by each of our actions/choices, inactions – and responses – done in every moment underfoot.

Heads up: every new moment underfoot is our starting point, should we need one.

It’s also our reset point, should we need one.

We may not yet be where we want to be or how we want to feel, but every moment of awareness keeps us on track.

As the now-reviled Confederate general, Stonewall Jackson said, ‘You may be whatever you resolve to be.’ The maxim holds true.

History tells us that Jackson had successfully resolved to be a gifted tactical commander. Though he owned slaves, he struggled with the morality of that system though condoned by the Bible. At a time when helping blacks elevate themselves was potentially a criminal activity, Stonewall Jackson taught Sunday School to enslaved peoples.

Most notably, then, Jackson resolved to be known among the blacks in his state as ‘the black man’s friend’.

It is within the custom-made, karmic choreography orchestrated on our behalf that we are free to determine how we are going to play our hand. All choices are up for grabs but, it is the sum total of the choices made moment by moment that defines us.

So, as neutral observers, we unlock our mind to allow in whichever updated, inner-outer conscious actions we believe will effectively bring about a gut/heart/mind coherence in the upcoming chain of moments already on their way.

And so, we reframe the past.

We assess the moment as neutral, as it truly is.

We envision the next moment – or the next day – or the next opportunity to respond differently as we want it to be, to sound and to feel.

Once awake, brave, curious and innovative warriors that we are, we move closer to our rainbow.

To our life optimised.

Bottom line: if each coherent choice and response we make is one more stepping stone leading to emotional freedom, each choice available must be scanned through the neutral observation of our personal tendencies so far.

Regardless of our chronological age, we might be willing to attempt this perhaps for the first time.

Shrug: and so, what if it is?

So, dear Reader, now that we’ve begun a non-judgemental deep dive into our modus operandi, I might allow the next flurry of thought-seeds to flutter down.

Something tells me … that a new garden bed might soon be populated by new growth related to one of my few but major ‘eew’, face-contorting pet peeves. 😉


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