Here’s a little quiz coming up:
- Is Love intended as a spontaneous emotion that overtakes us whenever we are happy, euphoric or simply satisfied with the responses of others, near and far?
- Is Love an emotion that needs to be cultivated with determination and true grit?
- What if one way to measure our ‘love’ was to assess how much Love do we generate in those of our clan – and in those we with whom we interact from near and far?
- On a scale from 1 to 10, dear Reader, how do we score our very own degree of Love for others?
- Who, in our clan – who, near and far – who, known and unknown, would score our love-ability differently?
If asked, no doubt, our parents, too, would have said that, of course, they loved us.
And in their mind, they did.
Even parents who chose to become estranged rather than accepting of some of the decisions we felt essential in gaining a sense of control and adult importance.
Some parents took us too seriously.
Others didn’t take us seriously enough.
Some took us the wrong way.
But, yes, they loved us the best way they were able to at the time.
Our parents, too, have their own story.
Serious question #2: we love chocolate.
Is that the same sort of feeling as loving our children?
The spouse who is not adhering to the general understanding of conjugal Love would also say s/he loved us.
As they love their favourite sports team?
As we love our favourite celebrities or our new device?
Or our new job?
Serious question #3: what if a government edict were to be created that stated that any form of pecuniary transaction was, from now on, on the list of forbidden ways to demonstrate Love towards anyone?
How, in the absence of monetary-based gifts, would we show ‘love’ for each of those who are in our clan?
How would we show our level of affection for our colleagues, teammates, neighbours and strangers alike?
Here’s an idea: maybe we should reimagine the word ‘love’.
Maybe we should invoke it solely for tangible things like chocolate, TV or streaming series, and the latest fads.
Then, we might benefit, separately and collectively, from rethinking and renaming ‘love’ as equanimity, heart-based care and respect.
So, yes, of course, we’d have to come up with another word for Love.
A word that signifies, ‘I see you as a real human being.
I understand you are different from the flowers, the cakes, the car, the bike and the house that I love.
I understand your needs.
They are the same as mine.
Your emotions and thoughts are the same as mine, too, regardless of our respective age, gender, skin tone and sexual orientation.
Each time you are within my line of vision or in my thoughts, I know it’s my duty, here and now, to honour your presence with a heartfelt smile because I know that like me, here and now, you are doing the best you can.’
Tomorrow, though, together and separately, we will do our best to do better.
To be better.
Heads up: if all of this is too much to pack in one word, then we’ll simply have to enact it all from the inside-out. 😊
Bottom line: invisibly but definitely, many of our emotion-laden thoughts and engagement compromised our resilience within the 3-D reality in which we ‘do’ life.
Birthday wish after birthday wish, feelings, thoughts and actions/reactions/inactions propelled our little raft away from our authentic self.
Away from our receding rainbow.
So now, dear Reader, as we set out to explore the unknown, we discover our true selves.
Carole Claude Saint-Clair©2021